How to catch an elephant

I'm pretty sure I'm going to die this semester

Friday 1/11/13 - Ellie Von Bun

I have to shamefully admit that I have a quality that causes problems in my character and mental health. This despicable feature is, naturally, considering myself smarter than most of the people.


Nobody likes the assholes who thinks too much of themselves. So that is one reason for hiding that thought.

Nothing brings you down more than succeeding worse than you were expecting of yourself. Also when you realize how badly you are thinking of everyone else, you start to comprehend your own stupidness and oh the shame.

Again I'm having my famous empiric experiences about my smartness. As I've started a fresh start in a school with interesting classes, I automatically am checking how I'm doing with minimal effort and how others are failing around me.


And of course, soon I'll be late with assignments and when the finals edge near I will freak out.

The classes in Canada are quite different from what I'm used to back in Finland in my horrible school. Of course, I have different subjects and here it is much more University-like with lectures where you (oh my gosh) don't interact with the teacher.

At least the teachers seem really, really good. All of them are psyched about their subjects. You can see the autistic glee in their eyes when they are explaining the depths of what they know while trying to control their saliva from sliding off their mouths.

And this is what I absolutely love about teachers.


I did already consider dropping a class. And why would I give up so quickly?

The course I'm talking about is almost like Programming II back home called Intermediate Data Structure and Algorithms, so that's not that bad, right?


The set-up is annoyingly different from the programming I'm used to. Yeah, they use Java and Eclipse and all that shit I'm familiar with, but what the hell!

This shit doesn't say anything to me.

Do I really need to analyze and make calculations of how many statements my piece of code does? Yeah, it is important to make efficient and fast programs but honestly, this is not the way to go. Really.

Because everyone else has learned these analysing types in earlier classes, I'm a bit screwed. Luckily there is Tutorial classes that helps noobs like me to catch up. Unlucky for me, last time I had troubles focusing to the teaching.

If I looked at the board my eyes started to droop.

If I looked at the teacher I started to drool and think of unspeakable things.

If I looked at the table I had this growing desire to crawl on top of it and fall asleep.

So what to do?

My three other courses seems more easier, at least in the sense of staying awake. I have to make my own app for mobile platform and I don't know yet what to do. Maybe I just copy the idea of my t-shirt and call the app The Legend of Linkstache. There would be Link and you can insert different types of 'staches on his face. That would be cool.


If all else fails, I just drop that course or let it fail. I'm okay with this.

Leave a comment. Keywords: school, canada, stress

Oh Caanadaa..

Sunday 12/30/12 - Ellie Von Bun

In these times I tend to find myself wrapped in a blanket with my teddy bear, Mellon, saying "No.".

I'm leaving in a few days to Canada for 4 months. And I'm supposed to pack and clean. You'd say that is a reason enough for not blogging and doing another important stuff, but No.

It's Christmas sales on Steam and GOG and I just have to try these new (and old) games I've got.

And now I spent my time playing Theme Hospital of all of the games.

But it's okay, I still have three whole days to arrange and stress. One day goes to New Years Eve party so that's a relief.


Ever since I was little I've dreamed about the day when I'm old and wise and ready to go as an exchange student. Well, now that I came to that old and wise age and go to a proper school, I wasn't sure if I wanted to go after all.

It's one of those moments that you wait and when the time is ripe, you chicken out. And right after the time is past you regret it horribly. For me, these moments happens all the time. Almost daily.

I pushed the decision making to the limit that I realized it was the last chance to go. And then I decided not to go.

It was Thursday evening and me and my friend were at the school after lecture hours doing homework and I mentioned that the applications for the Exchange program was due the next morning at 9 a.m. And in about couple minutes I decided that fuck it, there's no reason for me not to go so I really, really should try.

In 7 hours I created the worst CV and application combo I've ever made for anything with passport pictures and minimum qualifications for it to roll and deposit the thing 8 a.m.

And I got in. I prefer going on with a lot of luck. Makes life easier, don't you think?

I decided not to stress it and have been doing horrible job arranging things. But hey, with my luck, everything have been going smooth enough with no big mistakes. Small mistakes for sure, but who's counting.

Now I may have courses waiting for me in the University of Saskatchewan, city of Saskatoon. And a room in the College residence. Whoo!

I'm scared right now, but that's okay. I've made more rash decisions in the past that have turned out better than okay. It is those decisions that have turned out bad that push me down and I've never been the most confident person in the world.

Anyway, I've been busy and I will be busy for a while (have to finish that Theme Hospital!) and I know you'll miss me, but try to keep it together. I'll be back in no time with Canadian news to tell. And maybe I even have time to write posts beforehand in the 20 hour trip with 4 flights and 6809.56 km (4231.26 miles) to go.

Sometimes I'm a bit scared to fly so wish me luck!


Leave a comment. Keywords: school, canada, traveling