How to catch an elephant

The survival of a single dog owner

Sunday 12/15/13 - Ellie Von Bun

Holy smokes did I have some little tweeks to do before I could start actually writing. So many updates from which at least one destroyed something and I had to dig deep into files again to find the bug.Shamefully I also had forgotten my admin password so had to deal with that too.

I also added new random pics for my randomized me-section and fixed the broken twitter feed! Well no, I didn't actually managed to fix that but I fixed the looks of it. Now I can ignore it better.

You know what I hate? Blogs that die. I truly hate them.

I know it's July since I last wrote a word and I totally let my twitter go but sue me. Yeah you can't. So suck it up.

Anyhow I have been rather busy. Yes I do have free time but try to be as tired as I am and you'd let blogging be the first one to go too!

So I'm a dog owner. Being a single dog owner is a tad time consuming. Just saying.

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Around the end of September I went for a road trip to get my adopted not-so-puppy doggie home. I had prepared everything for her and was stressing myself over the thought that she will have a hard time to get used to everything. Little did I know that actually she was the brave and capable one and I was the one having adaption issues.

For the week before receiving her I started to panic. Having a dog means a lot of responsibilities and I was having doubts about myself greatly. I took my brave face on and went on with it anyway.

The first one to two weeks are bit a haze to me as I spent them pretty much having massive long-term panic attack. But I knew I'd get used to it before long (not the panic, the dog) and yes, as the days rolled by it started to get easier. The dog lost her anxiety in a week and with her actions and behavior being so top-notch, it made easier for me to adapt later on.

I thought she would be stereotypical adoption dog from Russia with a lot of trust issues and all that, but no. In the first car ride, even though being super scared she was braver than many of the other dogs I saw and climbed on my lap for safety on the way back. She sat there the whole way, poor skinny little thing.

In a few days she started to climb in to the bed with me to sleep and I don't always have the heart to tell her no. And she sleeps on her back, her paws facing the roof like a real puppy.

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Even though we get along greatly now and she's a real proper dog, the thing I'm still adapting on is how to survive with work, school and taking care of her. I love her to the bits already but it really takes a lot to do all these things alone.

I feel bad when I'm at work for she's all by herself and when I have to leave work I feel bad for not being able to do more.

And I do feel bad too for not being able to do all the stuff I'd like. There's no other options for me than to be with her after being at work or school all day. I'm not saying I have a lot of things, it's just all the little things too. Anything from after school activities to after-work.

But it's cool, we're getting there. I just don't want to feel bad over it all the time.

There's really haven't been any improvements in my health which makes it a bit harder. I take my girl out every day at least three times a day and it keeps getting harder and harder. Those who say that it gets better as after you just start going out you'll start to feel better soon, they lie. It's not getting easier, it's actually more like pushing my last pieces of energy into it and it's getting harder and harder. If I sleep and gather my energy for a weekend or so it's easier for a while, but I really don't have much options for those resting days as I still have to take her out as always. I just don't do any other stuff in that day.

It's also the first time I've realized that I have an actual problem with all this darkness. Can't wait for Spring and light to come. I need more energy. I have to eat so many dietary supplements that they take all my money.

So this blows. My poor skin isn't getting any better because it's so dry and dark and I'm bruising just by wearing shoes. And the rash tickles and hurts quite bad.

As it might be clear by now all this affects my ability to express myself. Some days I sound pretty much like Tarzan using a few words trying to express myself. Me hungry. You stupid.

But right now there's not much to do about it than wait and survive.

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Me and my doggie are just fine though, she's gotten all fat and likes to sleep a lot and sometimes meets quite a lot of dog friends.

Only if my life starts to be too hectic that it affects her well-being will I start to think of finding her a new home. It's always nice that there's that option but I won't take it unless it's really the better choice for her.

Yes it would be easier if there were another person helping but sometimes you can't choose.

So my life is pretty much my work, my dog and a little bit my school too. I'm starting on my thesis as soon as I can and am missing only one course which I'll start on January. If happens that I get a long term contract for my job, I'll probably buy an apartment. I've started apparently to worry about my future and that seems a nice way to work with that. I'd have a home of my own and by paying the mortgage I'd be saving money on the apartment. It's a fairly good choice if you think about it! But we'll see what happens.

Oh, my dogs name is Sofi by the way. I had problems figuring out what her name was and that one just kind of stayed. She's a lovely yet slightly derpy doggie.

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1 comment . Keywords: dog

Wheel of (mis)fortune!

Wednesday 7/17/13 - Ellie Von Bun

So this has been hanging on my site for some time now.

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And no it doesn't bug me a bit. Nope. Na'a. Not a chance.

Holy bathole batman, hell yeah it annoys me and the worst part of it is I have no idea how to fix that. All my pride in my work is gone and I feel beaten.

Oh well, who cares. I'll fix that when the time is right.

So I moved!

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Ignore the undone bed and the toilet paper roll (allergies, I swear!).

I didn't take pictures of the kitchen (that is on the right) nor bathroom (which is behind), I just don't care enough. Well it's an awesome place with that balcony thingy so woohoo! And cheap too!

If you want to know, it's Freaks and Geeks running on the TV. Of course you want to know.

In the other news I got a job. Yay me! It happened couple weeks ago, I got a phone call to come to an interview the very day and I went and by the end of the interview I was hired.

And holy smokes I adore my job. I'm doing layouts (like I designed and created this one oh so long ago!) mainly and CSS -thingies so that's what I do. And it's brilliant. It's a temporary position for now, but we'll see. I might be good enough to continue, who knows!

So all is good, eh?

Nothing bad or annoying can happen when things roll so nicely?

Well so happened that my tattoo never just got better, so I went to a doctor who knew nothing, but mentioned about psoriasis and recommended a dermatologist. Then I destroyed a whole lot of antibiotics with my body. And nothing.

So to the dermatologist I went and ho behold, psoriasis it is. Can't say for sure when, how and why it now has acted up, but most likely it was the god forbidden liver infection that triggered that thing up. I understood that quite often psoriasis need some sort of infection to lure its ugly head out and as things fit so nicely, that might be it. Some might blame the tattoo, but in my opinion it's just the sufferer. It got okay somewhat around the infection and it was until the touch-up when it never got healed. And it looks like the rash just has taken it over and won't let go.

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It looks better now as I've been feeding lotions to it and now I have super strong killer lotions too. It looked bad earlier when the skin came off. That was.. bad. And as you can see, it's only few areas that act up (the other red is actual coloring work not to be mixed up). You can imagine my worries about continuing infections in the tattoo but then again, I did have these.

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That's an almost healed psoriasis caused rash thingy. I think this was the first and biggest of them, I do have more of those, unhealed, smaller and counting. Just yesterday I noticed a few on my arm, sooo they are definitely creeping up from my feet to my face.

Yup, had one on my face too. Still there. Sucks monkey balls.

So my life is like a Pokémon game of diseases. Gotta catch 'em all! I wish the liver infection would already be far in my past and not give me anymore shit but nope, here we are.

And it's starting to be like something new for every year. So shall we make a bet for next year? Lactose intolerant is already tested, so I can give really good odds for that to happen. Other things could be cancer, hypothyroidism, autism, ADHD (still not diagnosed) or any other cool thing, physical or psychical, I'm on it. Oh and have to test sometime if I'm barren etc.

So that's about it, on the other hand all these cool things happen and it's all good. But then there's my health that fails me, year by year. Hell. Ass.

Oh and I'm getting a dog. She should arrive next month. ;)


Leave a comment. Keywords: psoriasis, celiacs, IBS, dog