How to catch an elephant

How being a Finn will be the death of me

Wednesday 7/31/13 - Ellie Von Bun

I was supposed to write this post way before the last one, so now that I have even more health problems, this is even more accurate.

I'm quite typical Finnish person. I like my own company, I stare at feet and ceilings a lot and understate pretty much everything I can.

Typical job interview with me would go something like this:

Interviewer: What would you say is your qualities that makes you a good employee?

Me: Well I don't know, I guess I'm not late that often and I do try to work as much as I can. I think I'm okay.

Interviewer: Do you have anything to show from your past work?

Me: Well I do have this, but it's ugly though, and it has this and this going on that's not quite right, oh hell, this is bad, don't hate me. I tried!

Interviewer: Umm, okay, so what can you give to our company, what is your thing that makes us want to work with you?

Me: The hell I'm supposed to know, I guess I get along with people. Well, at least when I get to know to everybody. Well, I do have problems with female coworkers sometimes. Well, I'm actually not a big people person at all. Okay, scratch that, I suck and you don't want me.

This is just an illustration, almost based on a true story but not quite.

That kind of overly modest "Nah, I'm not that good in the end" works for health issues too. "Oh I'm not that sick." "Dude, you're bleeding!" "It'll stop at some point STOP PRESSURING ME!"

I do the same. I whine of being ill or in pain, but I never see it enough of an issue to actually visit a doctor.

So then I'll stay whiny little bitch just because do I REALLY need a doctor for my not-painful-at-all issues? And when I finally give in and decide to see a doctor I just lie my ass off. Well not lie, just understate!

dying1.jpg


dying2.jpg

Not gonna fix these typos.

dying3.jpg

Yeah, I see the typo here too but it's just too much effort to fix that. Off. Jump off a bridge. You get the drill.

dying4.jpg

dying5.jpg

Oh I'm not covered in blood, my sheets are red. An the blurry thing on the floor is the mess I always have.

All of these things have happened.

And quite many times I've been sent home just with "you may or may not have something".

For example that liver infection case, the doctor didn't really know how sick I actually was until she saw the lab results. After that she told me that my body had gone through quite a thing and original flu is nothing in comparison. Oh. I may have had my brave face on (even though me crying on the reception and sleeping in an empty room might have given some clue).

I'll probably one day get stabbed and suffer couple days before I actually have the courage to go to doctor.

And the funny thing is, I'm again with the similar situation. This time I'm going to a doctor next month and I'm quite sure I will tell nothing to the guy. I'm just exhaaausted and tired and can't really function. But that's nothing, really. Maybe? Should I overstate my being and be considered wildly ill?

Can't wait for the cancer and the pain it'll cause. "Nah, it's nothing, I'll just die in peace here".

No wonder I'm all hypochondriac with all this crappy health things going on. At least my superlotions are starting to save my tattoo. That psoriasis is letting go its grip slowly but surely. Well, not surely, but at least slowly. Better than nothing!

Except all elsewhere of my body. Getting new ones every day.

Other things, it takes a couple months before I get my doggie. She'll get here, just a bit late. Then millions of pictures!

I also have brilliant idea for my next post, so stay tuned. It might suck too, but that's just more fun! Your frustrated little faces all bummed out of my laziness. :) Wish I had some photos of those faces. Would made my day.

Leave a comment. Keywords: finnish, sickness