I have to shamefully admit that I have a quality that causes problems in my character and mental health. This despicable feature is, naturally, considering myself smarter than most of the people.
Nobody likes the assholes who thinks too much of themselves. So that is one reason for hiding that thought.
Nothing brings you down more than succeeding worse than you were expecting of yourself. Also when you realize how badly you are thinking of everyone else, you start to comprehend your own stupidness and oh the shame.
Again I'm having my famous empiric experiences about my smartness. As I've started a fresh start in a school with interesting classes, I automatically am checking how I'm doing with minimal effort and how others are failing around me.
And of course, soon I'll be late with assignments and when the finals edge near I will freak out.
The classes in Canada are quite different from what I'm used to back in Finland in my horrible school. Of course, I have different subjects and here it is much more University-like with lectures where you (oh my gosh) don't interact with the teacher.
At least the teachers seem really, really good. All of them are psyched about their subjects. You can see the autistic glee in their eyes when they are explaining the depths of what they know while trying to control their saliva from sliding off their mouths.
And this is what I absolutely love about teachers.
I did already consider dropping a class. And why would I give up so quickly?
The course I'm talking about is almost like Programming II back home called Intermediate Data Structure and Algorithms, so that's not that bad, right?
The set-up is annoyingly different from the programming I'm used to. Yeah, they use Java and Eclipse and all that shit I'm familiar with, but what the hell!
This shit doesn't say anything to me.
Do I really need to analyze and make calculations of how many statements my piece of code does? Yeah, it is important to make efficient and fast programs but honestly, this is not the way to go. Really.
Because everyone else has learned these analysing types in earlier classes, I'm a bit screwed. Luckily there is Tutorial classes that helps noobs like me to catch up. Unlucky for me, last time I had troubles focusing to the teaching.
If I looked at the board my eyes started to droop.
If I looked at the teacher I started to drool and think of unspeakable things.
If I looked at the table I had this growing desire to crawl on top of it and fall asleep.
So what to do?
My three other courses seems more easier, at least in the sense of staying awake. I have to make my own app for mobile platform and I don't know yet what to do. Maybe I just copy the idea of my t-shirt and call the app The Legend of Linkstache. There would be Link and you can insert different types of 'staches on his face. That would be cool.
If all else fails, I just drop that course or let it fail. I'm okay with this.